Nice guys

I think a lot of feminists have a tendency to a double standard, or sorts. I do too, although this is something that I’ve tried hard not to do. A lot of the time we will refuse to blame women who are victims – which is absolutely the right thing to do. A lot of people, when a woman is in a violent relationship, for example, will question why she stayed there. That this is the first question we ask is indicative of some problem in society, and I wish I knew how to change that! On the other hand, a man that is being abusive is treated, among feminists, as having complete control over every decision he made, every one of his actions. Of course he shouldn’t be let off, but feminists, I think, need to work on ways to educate all men so they understand that women are people too.

Rape

A number of years ago when I was debating the premise of feminism, I liked the concept of ’sex-positive’ feminism. I did quite a bit of research at that point, mainly using various feminist blogs, and they contributed a lot to the feminism I subscribe to now. I’m not sure if I am a radical feminist, but I’m certainly not ’sex-positive’ (NB. I’d also like to stress that I’m not ’sex-negative’). Anyway, one of the best blogs I read, was “Den of the Biting Beaver.” Sadly, the blog itself has either closed down, or been changed so that only her friends can read it. But there is an archive here. I’d like to post her rape checklist, directly, because it challenged things a lot for me. BB’s points are in bold, and I have made comments, where I’ve felt necessary.

Rape in the US military

I was just reading through my blogroll and saw this on Oh, You’re a FEMINIST. It’s a highly disturbing account of the experience of female soldiers being raped by their colleagues in the US military. Her analysis is, I expect, spot on, too:

The military is probably the oldest “boy’s club” there is and it becomes incredibly easy to “other” women when your ingroup is structured on masculine notions of power, strength, and dominance.

Have a look at the whole post, but be aware that there are some upsetting things there. I haven’t even dared to click on the links in her post.