Looking up…

Well, after around 48 hours sitting in the same seat in the living room (with only the occasional short period of activity) I was beginning to think that I should hand in my notice at work, as I was clearly never going to be in a position to go back, suddenly things are looking up.

I started my swimming lessons this evening. I found it pretty difficult to get out, but I thought I only needed to be out of the house for a couple of hours, so it was no big. It was total hell on the bus going there – the general noise of people was not easy for me to deal with. But when I was actually in the lesson, things were a bit better. I’ve always found swimming kind of meditative (which is good, since when I actually try to meditate I get this horrible feeling like somebody has their hand around my throat and is choking me). So this wasn’t much of a surprise. But then I didn’t go back to feeling like shit when I got out. Suddenly, maybe, life will go on. I’m going to see about getting back to work when this sick note is over. And maybe try to use my time off to get on my feet, sort of.

I have a week and a half before I’m due back at work. So in that time, the big job I have is to tidy my room (you would not believe how messy it is – I have actually moved into the spare room because of how bad it is). So these are the things I’m going to do tomorrow:

• buy a notebook/exercise book so I can start keeping a journal (this is something my therapist wants me to do);
• laundry;
• phone the mobile people regarding changing my contract;
• look into getting a new bank account to aid my finances.

It seems like a lot, but I’ll skip a lot of the basic stuff like showering (I almost never have a proper wash except for when I’ve been swimming – disgusting, I know). Well, things are looking good.